I awoke to 2019 with new insight. This awareness wasn’t reached overnight however, but rather it’s a culmination of many deep conversations, reflections, sorrow, laughter, and in some instances weeping until sleep took over.
As it’s often the case, one doesn’t become wiser with a snap of the finger, although I so wish that to be the case. Attaining wisdom is a slow process that is built from the ground up. It is learned in small digestible bites oftentimes out of very difficult experiences. And although it can be an arduous road, I can say I am finally embracing it with open arms.
This morning it hit me, as I reflected on a brand new year, that my growth has been in part because I’ve done things wrong. Because many times, I really didn’t know better and because in my quest to help others, I often forgot to help myself.
As I see it now, the road that led me to this moment is irrelevant, since what’s ahead is so much more important than what’s behind.
So as I move forward into today, I am braver and stronger than ever before. Peace is finally entering my heart and soul, because I’ve learned that I must trust without seeing. I have finally let go of second guessing myself and worry since I now know that doing my personal best is and always has been enough.
Yes, today I can say I am wiser. But I’m also acutely aware that I have so much work to still do and so much more to learn.
And so, for the next 364 days, if God allows, I will run my race, in my own lane.
Asking God to lead the way.